Dear Diary,
उसको फुर्सत नहीं मिलती कि पलट कर देखे,
हम ही दीवाने हैं दीवाने बनें रहते हैं।
Hii,
Dear diary, I just woke up, I kept sleeping the full day yesterday coz it was the only way to skip the pain, yaa pain in my mouth which was unbearable, I just took medicine and went to sleep, then woke up in the evening when mum called to wish me, "happy daughters day", haha she is so much on social media so she believes in all and wished me as I always celebrate everything.
But she said that I won't talk to you much as it will hurt you mouth, I didn't sleep after that, later in the evening or I should say night I went to the terrace but didn't liked it there too. No wind, no peace.
Then I came back and slept coz only sleeping helps to escape time and pain and loneliness.
And I am like this na that I want to bear and suffer all alone, I could have called my parents here, my mum had said before that she can come but I said that I will manage, I do this everytime, one of the reason is that I don't want to trouble them but the biggest reason is that I want to do everything alone, Idk what kind of kick it gives me but yes it is what it is. And I also kept sleeping coz I didn't wanted to go out with half swollen face.
Diary, I was thinking about Shikhar too and I thought after so long time he left me at the point of time when he got somebody else in life, I mean when he seemed okay with the other person then he left me and left me alone to suffer, earlier he used to say, how can I leave you when you're not fine for a while too and now see he left me with all the sufferings, pain, anger to bear it all alone and I have this thing in mind that at the point when he got someone else in his life comfortable then he built the distance not before. Although he didn't left me , I chose not to stay there where I was now least important it's just that he didn't stopped me this time.
Now , I think if ever he tried his best for us to be together, I guess no, although I keep defending him everytime when someone says this but now I have also started believing it. When you are in love, you just get blind but slowly as you come out of it, you start seeing things .
But my dear, I am not so weak, people think I am weak as I cry on little things but I am that strong too, it's just that I am getting anxious at times, like day before yesterday, when after the extraction, I mean 2 hrs later when I removed the gauge and had a cold coffee, the pain was so unbearable that it made me anxious, I was panicking and it gave me that giddiness that I thought I might faint but there is medicine for every pain and this happened when I was in movie so if something would happened someone would have helped me. But I managed that too.
People shows sympathy when they get to know that I go for movies alone but I don't feel like this, I feel good when I can do all things on my own. I have no hesitations and this is thing only that Veer knows and appreciates. He had appreciated this all the time.
Anyways, I need to wake up and make the day happen to me.As I have to put efforts to get things happen, life is not magical that everything will come automatically too me. I wish it would have been magical.
"Good things doesn't happen automatically, you have to make it happen."
I hope I have a great day today and for the pain I have painkillers.
And yes its Navratri from today, so I should take a shower and go to temple and all for a good. Yes, I do believe in God,the almighty and in prayers too.
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