Dear Diary, to be honest, I am in a weird situation. Well it’s only in my mind and it was created by myself tho.
I don’t know but I was trying to study bible. But it’s not so common to have a specific religion here. So I have no background informations. I can’t go to church because there are no church that I can walk to. And I just want to read the Bible and reflect the words by myself first. Bible app was available for free.
Buddhist temples around here aren’t opened like churches having opening day. I also tried to learn from Zen Buddhism. I just wanted to learn lessons that have been helping people since centuries and centuries ago.
But I don’t know I think it’s just because of my too much YouTube time but I feel unsure and unstable or just feel rushed.
Like… what am I doing!?
Update
I set up my journal for my spiritual learning. I made self introductions page and noted what were current changes I experienced. And today, I finally made first entry. I did double entry journaling style. My struggle have these days and some quotes I got from reading and how these quotes “answers”
But it was like something I already had in my mind. And it’s basically like I added references to the idea.
Some people find their answers by doing meditation without books.
Well I think it’s not now. I deleted the app. I don’t know why but it didn’t show up to me like it did when I really needed. I don’t know why it makes me feel like this. I need some break and let’s see what happens.
Sep.16th