Dear Diary,
I've had a crush on this guy since I started school. (A month and a half ago.) He's a sophomore, I'm a freshman. I really like him. He's cute, nice, and just everything that you'd expect when you create a fantasy of someone that you like in your head. He doesn't actually like me. And I know that for a fact because he has a gf. And I see them together ALL. THE. TIME.
I have a couple classes with him, so we know who each other are, but I know there's no chance. Like who'd wanna date me? No one lmao!
Anyways, the past two weeks I've been really struggling to watch them just be in love and cuddling and all that shit. Like I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!! That's what my brain's saying. This guy has made me really sad because of the fact he has a gf, but I've never actually cried over him. Well, that was until today.
Yeah. I don't want to admit it because I'm not the type to cry over anything, like I'd rather look tough than like a baby. But when I saw him comforting her after 2nd period, cause she was crying, I lost it.
That's not when I cried, but I'll tell ya, I really REALLY wanted to. I was so sad. I was sad because I wanted that to be me. Yes. I'm admitting it, I'm jealous. I know and I don't like that I am, but I can't change it.
It was even harder because I LITERALLY SAT RIGHT NEXT TO HIM IN 3RD PERIOD!!! Like in less than five minutes, I would be sitting right next to him, working on an assignment together. Brutal.
I decided that I just need to wrap up the fantasy that I'd created in my head and accept that he has a gf and it's not gonna happen. He noticed that I wasn't myself and was being EXTRA nice to me. That made it even harder. When I came home, I cried for the first time over this guy. I'm trying to get over him, but it's hard.