September 02, 2022

 

Dear Diary,

"Bahut gehri thi raat magar hum soye nahi,

Dard bhi bahut tha dil me magar hum roye nahi,

Koi nahi humara jo puchhe humse bhi, jaag rahe ho kis liye or kis liye soye nahi "

Hii diary,

As I know how was my day I am still writing it as the only way to feel better,

today chapter of Shikhar is closed forever, I was feeling hurt that time as alot of things were going in my mind and his reply just triggered me up, I said him selfish person who is just looking for his benefits and I said that he thinks me  as a free labour these are things I shouldn't have said but what can I do know it's said and it's done, I can't undo it so let it be. Its just that I expected something better reply from him but receiving such message which I read in my tone that"sorry for what you have to go through" triggered me and I lost all my calm and I felt hurt I was disheartened but instantly I blocked him didn't wanted to have our last conversation like this as what I had was all good time with him and I ended up me being so angry, upset and rude  rude. 

Anyways bygones are bygones


After that in the evening I went to the Ganesh puja celebration and aarti it feels better to interact with different aunties. 😂 

And the hours in which I feel lonely get passed away easily.


And my brother is back and it really feels good to have someone at home otherwise living alone only sounds fascinating but these days living alone just sucks.

I came back and was hungry then I realised that I haven't eaten anything since morning  but didn't feel like cooking but I have to cook for my brother so I cooked but after that now I am not feeling like eating the hunger went away. 

And my blood pressure shooted up that time as I could feel it my body was heating so much and due to anxiety or bp shoot up my hands were shivering and that is the time I started crying.


Obviously it feels blank as you can't talk to the person with whom you shared every little details of your day you can't talk to that person anymore.

I don't block anyone I mean if there is something extreme then only it happens otherwise I never block anyone and I blocked him only in one of my WhatsApp and rest places it is as it is. I did so that I don't end up messaging him.


Anyways I will be okay with time as whenever I think about him I tell myself that he won't be even thinking about me so why should I. Just move forward in life.

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