August 29, 2022, It's a different time

 

Dear Diary,


This is a very different time of my life. Working alone, having no goals set by others, no day-to-day responsibilities. Just the goals I set for myself in the morning. Of course I get the feeling so many times, that am i just wasting my time. 

Yesterday, i read about setting standards high, but be restless too. 


Sitting alone, whole day, i go and watch the sky in evening, the birds floating, the breeze, the clouds and shapes, it's all beautiful. But at the same time I feel very aware of being alone. Being alone is so hard, we don't realize often. I mean, Before this break, i always imagined, i would have an individual's job and work in peace on projects i love, live in my caffe in manali, i wont work with teams.

But right now, i feel its very difficult, specially when i do not have a solid goal, a solid project. I have nothing. ;(. Sueno de espanol feels meaningless without her.  


Without the work i love doing, i find myself struggling to have fun even when with friends. 


It's a difficult time. I know that this too shall pass. But i have to find meaningful work soon. It's not like i am not trying. I am trying, but it's becoming difficult and sometimes i don't even know why something is not working out. :(



Bye

--panda--



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