Dear Diary, I dreamt about my ex. It's a bad dream.
I've been taking online counselling regarding mental health. So I came across the term 'Love Bomber', exactly what my ex is.
--->Love bombing may very well be the scariest thing that can happen while dating. Not only is it an extremely manipulative tactic used by narcissists, abusers, and, ahem, con artists, but it’s also very, very hard to detect and suss out as it’s happening.
--->And as the recipient, love bombing feels really good because of the boost of dopamine and endorphins you receive. You feel special, needed, loved, valuable, and worthy, which are all the components that contribute to and increase a person’s self-esteem.
I felt like I've finally got a closure. I was clueless, what was really going on in our relationship. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what was it.
But I've some serious self-esteem issues. I should work on them. I used to be a chubby girl (even now slightly I'm). My parents used to say that if I stay fat, no guy will be willing to marry me. And some of my peers used to call me with some mean names. I guess my ex used my vulnerability to get me.
I feel like I'm a damaged piece. I don't think that I can date someone else with some baggage with me.
Love,
Chloe