August 24, 2022

 

Dear Diary,

Idk why I am feeling so anxious right now. Maybe I know the reason, I went to papa to share some update of my life and instead of saying something good he asked whether he had sent you the money or not and I said no and he was angry and I said that I haven't asked him for it, I felt very bad with the tone as I don't want to hear something bad about him so I said I haven't asked I will ask him and I will mention infront of papa that the work is still pending as I said it infornt of mum I know this isn't a big deal as my father has always such loud reaction for everything either he gives very reaction or very loud reaction. 

O want to stay away from my family coz I find no peace with them that's why I don't go to home and this time they stayed so longer here I wanted them to go back to home but ofcourse I can't say this to them coz they will be hurt but when they decided to go home and booked their tickets, mummy fell ill and we cancelled the tickets, I don't have any problem with them staying here but I don't want to for now and I am frustrated coz mummy being so careless everytime and then it affects us too when she falls ill like financially, physically as well as mentally, I am having a severe headache since yesterday. Its just that I want my privacy. I know I am being a bad person writing all of these but this is the all I am feeling right now. 

And above that I have to complete those assignments, it was so stupid of me to do such thing, I can return the money but it is that I have wasted somebody's time so I need to complete it today as I don't want to drag it further, I want every headache out of my mind today, I don't want her to suffer coz of me that's why I will complete the assignments today anyhow keeping all the things aside so that I can also have a sigh of relief. I am done with all the things around me.

I want mental peace and want to live alone.

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