Dear Diary,
Today i want to tell you about misunderstandings. Although i am not supposed to think about it anymore, I promise, once I tell you, it'll be out of my system, I have many other interesting things i want to focus on.
So 2 nights ago, when i had problem sleeping, this was one of the thought which came to me. That no one understands me. Only she does. So i thought. I was hurt today, when she said that all those things which i only said as jokes, did hurt her and that she thinks that, its because i judge people...
I never did it intentionally, and i never meant it the way she is thinking, but such is the mind, i told her many times, but she wouldn't believe me. I don't blame anyone, i just know now, that this is how it is, sometimes people will misunderstand you. And sometimes people would be so sure about their opinion that no explanation about what you actually meant would change their mind. Such is the brain.
I don't feel complete guilt, as I really didn't mean those things. But I feel sorry, that unknowingly I did hurt her and she had to keep it all in her head for so long to tell me.
And now that i am writing it, i think what i said was mean, it does hurt people.
I am slightly guilty. My heart is still innocent. But we all do mistakes. This was mine. I understand it now.
It'll be out of my system now.
---
Today i had call with the Astrophysics Guy. Call it destiny or whatever. The problem he discussed, which he wants to solve is almost exactly the same thing, i had in mind, when i wanted to learn deep learning in the first place. To find stars.
I never had the motivation and time to dedicate to it all these years, but 6 years later, it has found me again. This time I'll give an honest attempt.
As every day is passing, I am believing more and more in life. I hope i never loose hope. Of life.
Love & Only Love in my heart
❤️❤️
--panda--