Dear Diary,
Today I made fish, dhania pakoda, bengan chop and tomato chutney... It was finger licking good 😋😋😋.
Apart from cooking, I can't find any motivation. I feel like I am dying inside. I want to stay with Bae this long distance is killing me. I have no one to meet here. All my friends stay in a different city. And I am stuck all day at home, no social life... And there is one guy friend here but nowadays I feel like staying away from male friends in general. I will go to Kolkata next week, I know lot of people there so its still better.
I think the following things can help me: social life, dance, sex, a dedicated work space.
I do my work in my bed. I feel if I had an office setup I might have felt more motivated. I also feel once I actually start living with Bae I will have more energy. And yess dance/hardcore exercise is what makes me feel alive... I don't know whats the problem with me. I wish I had a personal coach, just like a sports person who would push me to stay on track.
I am currently on the path of self destructing my career. I don't know when I will stop. It seems impossible now.
Regards,
Anne