Dear Diary,
Sometimes i become so happy i feel scared. I know about the never ending cycle of happiness and sadness. Although when i am happy, i am so happy and confident, that i have to remind myself of the cycle to feel grounded. To still have gratitude and kindness in heart. To be calm, in both the darkest and brightest of times.
Recently, i have been spending a lot of time stalking people on LinkedIn, approaching them, talking to them about space, brain research etc. Although Meera told me a lot of times to approach and talk to people, earlier I never did it, I think it was because I didn't really feel a serious urge. I think I have discovered/realized another thing about human beings, a lot of times, we would be asking/suggesting our friends do something when they complain to us about their lives, but they won't do it and we would be pissed, but now I understand, that when people are not doing it, it's either because they don't believe it would work and more often it is because they are not even serious about fixing the problems they were complaining about. And we shouldn't keep suggesting them in the hope that they would someday do it, They would do it, only when they want to.
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I think i am getting too comfortable at home now, it's been 2 and half months, i haven't gone to office and i am feeling very comfortable with home routine, i think i have to do something to fix it. Otherwise i wont feel like working again in the office. I have to get out and move.
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I want to go do some travelling now. I spoke with Gandhi, he said its ok to take some break, and i shouldn't be so worried about getting work already. As soon as this centre customs thing is resolved, I'll pack my bag.
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I was looking at BCI startups. So many of them are very old. and by the looks of it, it feels like they haven't made huge progress or advanced much. They are hiring software engineering interns now. :O
And obviously, it's a known thing, because no one has still cracked it fully, there is no big company, they are all trying to achieve something and contribute their bits.
Now the question is, although it's very exciting to me, am I ready to take the risk and embark on this journey (Well, most successful entrepreneurs did exactly this), otherwise we are just copycats.
I don't know. Apart from my recent interest, I do not have any different ideas or a new way of doing things.
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I came across a song today, that so well explains my exact feelings for her.
Oscar Blue - Silhouettes
```
She’s a diamond in the coal
Something that enchants my soul
Graceful and Captivating
Just one glance
And my minds invaded
Hooked on those eyes I need my fix
But you can’t force what never clicks
So should I try really really hard
Or just keep loving you from afar
Oh can we walk into the sunset
Until Our Bodies are Silhouettes
Cuz busy days cause busy lives
And maybe you'll just keep on walking by
Are my hopes just gonna suffocate in my doubt
Or am I being my anxious self drowning my chances out
So am I hot or am I cold
Am I something new or am I something old
It’s not time for playing games
Am I burning in the blaze
Hooked on those еyes I need my fix
But you can’t force what nevеr clicks
So should I try really really hard
Or just keep loving you from afar
You don’t change
My feelings never do
My heart won’t break
But I’m losing faith in you
When I think of your name
I’m just thinking of a dream that I wish
Would come true
Oh can we walk into the sunset
Until Our Bodies are Silhouettes
Cuz busy days cause busy lives
And maybe you'll just keep on walking by
Are my hopes just gonna suffocate in my doubt
Or am I being my anxious self drowning my chances out
```
Goodnight
❤️❤️
--panda--