Dear Diary, Now look, here I go again, catastrophing and blowing all things out of proportion, a moment of cognative dysfunctional thinking. I see myself a far different person that others say I am. But thats what happens when for all of your adult life you have gone to war against bipolar disorder and losing. Its been nearly 40 years now and I think some times it's better to give up than continue to fight and loose. Feel free to jump in at this point, it might just help more than all the medication I'm taking.