August 08, 2022

Well once again I'm off work and will be, at least until this side of Christmas. A lot of people reading this will have no idea about mental health, and certainly no clue about bipolar disorder. Well that's what I have. It will never leave me and, if not kept under control could lead to all sorts of difficulties. Of course its not me that needs to be controlled, its the illness that affects me every day. Well I have become unwell again, I don't sleep, I get very paranoid throughout each day and I find it hard to rationalise and so catastrophes everything. I know, and I've heard it said by a lot of people how they would like to have those periods of manic episodes just for the thrill of it etc. but if the knew how destructive a time it can be they would change their mind. Having bipolar has cost me jobs, relationships, debts and so much more heart ache I care to remember, while being depressed or those low times in my life are behond my ability to describe. That's were I am right now. So hear we go again along that road to nowhere. Where it will stop I just don't know.