Dear Diary, today and yesterday was a disappointment. I mean… I disappointed myself. I wanted to have better days but what I had done was wasting time on reading shitty web comics about scary persons in someone’s office:( I felt exhausted and became nervous about my future after I get job… well let’s make a decision. I will quit job if the work place was toxic. So I don’t need to worry about it beforehand. That’s useless. Walking towards future won’t work if I look at negative things. I didn’t check my screen time yesterday but today’s was 6 hours. Partially it’s for animal crossing and it helped me to feel calm. That’s terrible to spent my off day to end up with feeling negative about myself.
The reason why I opened Pinterest app was for getting inspired. But somewhat it leaded me to read negative stories. This kind of drama based on someone’s real experience is quite popular I guess. That’s how they make money. People like me are attracted because it could be us to be involved that kind of story. Want to learn and know how people in the story manages their life with toxic person. Number of blog visitors increased. They get payed for the blog visit by advertisement companies. What about me? I know I know I know but I can’t stop this. I know I don’t have to be interested as if it’s 100 percent sure to happen to me in the future. It may happen but how I would be ready to solve problems based on others experience? Useless! Okay? So I won’t read these things anymore. I need to protect myself. I need to protect my life.
I just wanted to some inspirational idea from Pinterest
For…for my wish list aka bujo but not for planning. And I realized…I should establish my own self improvement method but not by waiting for given ideas someone tried. I should have known this. Yeah I think I knew it.