[ENTRY 109..✍️]
Below is the exchange that transpired between Patch and I on Facebook within the span of three months this year. When I said I was looking forward to never ever hearing from him again in the letter I wrote almost four years ago, turns out I actually meant it.
[See "ENTRY 42: Dear Patch (Part 2)"]
APRIL 28
(A contact unsent a message)
—How are you now? I'm sorry for being irresponsible. I thought you don't have this FB anymore.
—How I wish I wasn't like this.
MAY 8
[Me]
[Still feigning ignorance about his old account.]
—Who's this?
MAY 11
(A contact unsent a message)
—How are you already? Are you okay? 😔
MAY 13
—Do I know you or are you just trolling? LOL.
MAY 14
—You know me too well, but I don't know if you still recognize me now.
—OK.
—How have you been?
(A contact unsent a message)
—Boo?
MAY 15
—Ah, OK. I think I know who you are now.
—I'm good.
MAY 16
—Have you been well?
—Boo?
MAY 17
—Where are you now, boo?
—What have you been doing now?
—Please don't call me that anymore 🙂 It's weird.
JUNE 6
—Okay, I'm sorry 😐
JUNE 17
—Where are you now, boo?
[Rolls eyes up to the back of my skull and shakes head. I just said not to.. Unbelievable.]
—Sorry 😔
—What do you want from me?
JUNE 20
—I badly miss you, boo 😢
[Gags.]
—I hope I got to see you 🥺
—I'm in a relationship.
JUNE 21
—It's not possible to see you?
—Please boo, I wanna see you.
—No.
—Boo.
—I miss you 🥺 Boo, I wanna see you 🥺
—Boo, I want to see you. Please 🥺
—Well I don't feel the same and have absolutely no desire to want to do anything with you anymore. Do you even realize how rude and disrespectful you're being? I'm with someone already. It's been years. Move on.
—That's why I'm sorry, I know I'm so rude, but I can't forget what I did 🥺 I don't know how to say sorry, but I'm hoping to see again time, I wanna see you. It's just it's stock in my head and I can't even forget what I did 😭😢 I'm sorry, boo 😢
—That's why I'm sorry, I know I'm so rude, but I can't forget what I did 🥺 I don't know how to say sorry, but I'm hoping to see you, I wanna see you. It's just it's stock in my head and I can't even forget what I did 😭😢 I'm sorry, boo 😢
—Boo 😢
[USER BLOCKED]
He tried revising his last paragraph thrice yet "stock" is still "stock"? Sorry, I can't tolerate that kind of mistake so I finally blocked him.
Kidding. I did block him but not for that reason. After those awfully repeated paragraphs, I just can't anymore. The cringe and disgust was too much. Reading his messages felt like the things I ate from four years ago—back when he and I were still together—were trying to crawl their way out of my mouth to be puked out, even when they've already long vanished by now. That's how revolted I was. Especially when he'd add up that stupid "boo". Beurk. That used to sound so warm and familiar in my ears but now I'm just utterly repulsed by it because on top of all that, he's also already fucking married. The goddamn nerve of the confounding bastard.. Him acting so desperate and stubborn and selfish makes me regret ever going out with him because he reeks of a pathetic loser and I cannot, for the love of me, believe I've been with such a man.
How epic would it have been, though, had my response to those last texts of his was "stuck*" and just that alone.. Hmm.