Dear Diary, I finally put in to words of the main cause of my careless mistakes.
When I am panicking, even slightly, my eyesight becomes really narrowed down, both physically and mentally.
And so that double checking doesn’t work. What I think I saw or checked is affected my first misunderstanding.
On last Saturday morning, even though I checked clock many times, I didn’t notice that the time was actually one hour earlier than I believed.
It was because I somehow thought I slept over as I woke up and decided to forget the hour part of clocks after that, unconsciously.
Misunderstanding happens when it happens. But I can try to make my carelessness less.
How about try to calm down, take deep breath to give my brain enough oxygen. Let’s invest some moment for me and my brain when I am panicked.
Or just try to notice if I am not calm enough or I am okay.
I have tendency to try move it forward in anyway than stop and think when I realize something is wrong.
Some people say nervous people can aware of tiny things and it help find mistakes before it causes trouble. So it can be positive if it positively rephrased.
But again, it’s not my case.
However, don’t be sad. “It’s not my case” isn’t bad things. Diversity is the word for cases like this. Human beings are not so simple as we want. Don’t forget. Don’t compare with what I think the society expects, if it makes me feel I am less worthy and disappointed. But always remember to try to be myself that I myself be respectful.
What I except in my future me is being less careless and calm enough to do not get panicked this easy.
Because it’s cooler.
Being in the moment can be the key. I gotta learn this!