Not a perfectionist.
Like the church building i'm getting demolished. And believe me, i've tried to keep my flaws hidden. For a long time i believed that i could change it. But i absolutely can not. Not on my own.
I'm falling into pieces. For a long time the thought of that scared me. But now, i've given up. I'm starting to see that its actually a good thing. I'm starting to embrace the fact that i can't do much on my own, and finish with perfection. It's not going to be easy. But with Gods help, i can do it. I prefure His outcome. Even though i can't see it yet. Its obvious that the creation of me, that i've created doesn't function the way He intended. Its time.
I've never been a perfectionist. Because my results never come near. But that's okay. Because God's work is perfect. I need to give Him more space. I've got a lot of trauma's that aren't dealth with. But am recieving help with that. I'm a work in progress.