Something different's Dear Diary

I had 5 panic attacks today and i haven't recovered from them yet. I feel like i was runnig for hours but i sat on the bathroom floor crying and i could not breath. I felt like there is no escape... and i still feel that way. I can't stop overthinkin

Dear Diary, Iam thinking about sharing my story on youtube. BUT without showing my face and body because i feel so ugly and fat. I want to break silence. I want to make new friends may build a community but i am also scared about it. I am afraid th

Dear Diary, I can't take this pain anymore. I was so hopeful because of my appointment for today but at the end i went home dissapointed again. I feel so alone and there is no hope left in my soul. Now i just let it be if soething good will happen

Dear Diary, Negative self talk and a self doubt is as normal to me as drinking water every day. No matter how many self-help books i read i am not able to follow this tips. I feel so stupid. I love self-help books especially books about spiritualit

Dear Diary, Finally i survived another day. I had several mental breakdowns again and i always try so hard to not cry but every day i am falling apart. I don't know how to stop this flashbacks. I tried to meditate but - failed I am not able to cal

Dear Diary, Sometimes i feel like i will never find happiness and live a life without depression and anxiety. Everything seems so hopeless. I just want to be happy and healthy. I want to talk about it but i am also afraid of talking about it becaus

Dear Diary, I need professional help. I can't deal with this flashbacks anymore. Flashbacks about what my abusive Ex-boyfriend did to me..I am so afraid. I hate him. I hope he will end up in jail but i'm fearing the trial. I don't what to tell ever

I feel so empty and i am sick of trying. Everything seems so hopeless. I wish that i could stop feeling so much. I hate my life. Waking up and asking myself WHY ? became a huge part of my daily routine..I have no one to talk with and i am so sick of

I feel so alone and everything is so hopeless. Every day i feel more and more depressed. I am crying like a baby every day. I had a mental breakdown 2 days ago and haven't recovered fro, this yet. I still feel like i haven't slept for 96hrs or more.

Every day is a battle. A battle with myself and with my demons called depression and anxiety. I feel so alome and lost. Sometimes i think i should give up. Give up fighting against my depression. I should let it b. It is so stressful to try to NOT ha

Dear Diary, i had the worst mental breakdown ever yesterday and i haven't recovered from it yet. I'm feeling like i'm having a big hangover but without any alcohol. I juust want to stay in bed but i also want to be able to enjoy my life.

I am disappointed and ended up having a painc attack again. It sucks that nothing works the way i want it to. I am sick of trying. I am sick of getting disappointed every day. I am sick of waiting to finally get help. I am sick of those people who ar

I feel so depressed all the time. I thought that i am used to it one day but the truth is that i`m not used to it and i will never be used to it. I am so trapped in my mind and this sucks. I feel so hopeless and i am afraid that i never will be able

Dear Diary,before Harold Hill ( an christian author and more) sank into the filthy black muck, which represented the sin in his life, he hang on to different religions, philosophies, and cults.None had been able to save him.  Confusius said it wa

Dear Diary, just started to read HOW TO LIVE LIKE A KING'S KID by Harold Hill. WOW, WOW, WOW!

About life and relationships. A threefold cord does not easily break. A threefold cord is very strong. A cord we need on the fragile rope called life. As a child, I've tried to find balance. I even tried to dance. But, the choreography of n

Dear Diary, So, today i've read the following: According to the Bible, the spiritual aspect of ourselves is a God-created PERSONHOOD, an image of the living God, and the ESSENTIAL fact of what makes us HUMAN. (Ecclesiastes 12:7; Romans 8:16;

The Savior's bride. The darkened sky threatens to fall upon me. Longing to veil me with fear. Darkening the path underneath me. Lead me away from my groom. Knows it not, that I'm hiding. That I'm underneath my Savior's doom. With His justice He ha

Dear Diary, I recently have read the book of Sarah Williams, called The shaming of the strong. The challenge of a unborn life. This extraordinary story begins with the happy news of a new member of the Williams family. Sarah's two young daughters a

Dear Diary, the following i read in a book  titled: Geborgen in liefde. Author Sarah Williams. The quote is from Jürgen Moltmann. I do not agree with everything that he has written during his life. But this quote i find to be  strong: “In reality th

Not a perfectionist. Like the church building i'm getting demolished. And believe me, i've tried to keep my flaws hidden. For a long time i believed that i could change it. But i absolutely can not. Not on my own. I'm falling into pieces. For a

Dear Diary, What if an expert told me that i've got only one more day to live. Will i treat my loved ones, friends , family and the strangers i'll meet any different? Will i love more intense? What really needs to be said? What will the world look li

Dear Reader, LISTEN! IF THE MEN KILLER, THE FATHER OF ALL LIES, TELLS YOU TO GO AHEAD AND KILL YOURSELF, DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING HE SAYS! BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU ARE FREED. FREED INDEED.  HE WANTS TO SHARE WITH YOU THE  ETERNAL AND HO

Dear Diary, Today i share with you the following story. Let me introduce you to the little girl who lives inside of me. Her name is Mercy Pure. She does not follow my directions. She does whisper wise things into my ear. How do i know that the t

Dear Diary, just wanted to share Holland in different seasons with you.

Dear Diary, The times, i got to go to the beach are view. In the Netherlands. My parents used to take me there when i was little. From my childhood untill now, their marriage is fragile. Divorse is constantly hanging above their heads as a threaten

Dear Diary, another day has been given. Very comforting to witness the sun come up every morning. It tells a story of faithfulness. Not a story of rebellion. Also not of giving everyone what he deserves. It shines for everyone. Even when it rains, it

Dear Diary, this picture i took a couple of days ago. During one of my walks. I like donkeys. They're curious and sweet. When they let me come near, and share a little bit of their lives with me, i feel like its my Birthday. In Greece i've been on on