Dear Diary,
Hii, Today was a fine day or it turned out to be fine before it ended.
Morning to afternoon I was fine, doing assignments, taking breaks.
I want to close Shikhar's chapter but it's not that easy, I had a 10 min conversation regarding my diet and all nothing else, I did my cardio that is dancing or zumba for more than 40 mins I guess. In the morning I have booked an appointment for psychiatrist for Monday to get over this anxiety thing. But during the day time I felt that I don't need it anymore, I am okay. But during evening it all started again, I don't know how I was feeling but it wasn't good feeling, I was missing him, the thoughts of letting him go hurts me, the thoughts that he will talk all the same stuff to some other girl makes me sad, I know we don't have choices as obviously his parents are also pressurising him and his point of being stuck at a place is also valid, but I feel bad thinking of all the stuffs like he will have all the same conversation with someone else, all the intimacy we had will be with another person. I know this things are gonna happen and all of these will happen to me as well but I can't control how I am feeling, I try to keep myself busy but I am eventually sad.
So that for a change I called Veer as I haven't responded to his missed call that day, had a small conversation with him, it felt good talking to him although the whole conversation was about family related. After that I called my mom, she had sent me the photos of pineapple which we planted, it has turned into an edible fruit so they ate it as well haha, it feels good na when you plant something in 2020 and after all the waiting period and patience it gives you a fruit and that too sweet as they say " सब्र का फल मीठा होता है" I think this quote was made while keeping pineapple in mind.
After that I thought I should get a fresh start, so Abhishek called me and today I talked to him properly with an open mind, as he was having drinks so he was saying many things and I was listening to him and was trying to understand him as a person. Finally anything will happen with my parents consent and my papa also discussed his topic for a while so I thought I should try to know him keeping all things aside but it's gonna take me time to accept things and to go further with him as I can't switch people easily, it's a good and bad thing at same time. Maybe I will continue talking and all with S too if there is equal response because I want to bid goodbye with an open heart and so that I don't miss him that much and with this guy I want things to go formally
I don't want to get involved and hurt after that so if we connected then only.
This is all for now, I am feeling sleepy. Good night
Hoping for a better tomorrow ( like tomorrow wala tomorrow and future wala tomorrow bhi)
Here is the pineapple