May 27, 2022

 

Dear Diary,


I didn’t sleep much last night. I cried and cried. It woke up my uncle so he took the time and just held me as I cried. I didn’t care. I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up again, he was gone and my light was off.

I feel bad for interrupting his life. And last night I did it again by waking him up. 

I don’t think I will ever get my shit together. I’m going to be 18 in six months and I’m scared to death of it. I’m no longer a kid, bound by rules, I can do whatever it is that I want. 

If I didn’t have all these court ordered rules, I wouldn’t do them. I wouldn’t go to therapy. I hate therapy. It is always very obvious how messed up I really am when I go. I don’t want to talk about my past. 

I feel like I haven’t slept. I’m just going to get up for the day. 

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