May 09, 2022 Where do we get friends?

 

Dear Diary,

"नाराज़ होने वाले को मनाने वाले का इंतजार होता है।"

Hii, I am not well today, I am very anxious since morning, after I woke up in the morning I thought to complete one subject's assignment today but now it feels that I won't be able to type one complete answer by the day ends. I have to push myself to write every paragraph. I am not okay maybe one of the reason is that after so many missed calls at night, I received only"awake?" Message at 4 am in the morning, I expected atleast 2-3 small words and no messages even after I had seen and not replied but it's okay,. I want to do nothing at this moment and just sleep sleep and sleep to escape time. I want to talk to someone but whom? I don't want to talk to old people as I will have to give a whole recap of what's going on and I can't talk to new people too as who will tell the whole story of my life to them. I want to have some friends not the friends that already exist in my life who are just so called friends, I want something real, but where do we get friends? And that too when I am so choosy, I think the only solution to get over these things is to have someone to talk to me , listen to me or atleast he/she can talk and I can listen. And yes that toxic kind of guy messaged me again, when I have declined his request, deleted number wtf is he texting me, I haven't opened his messages yet,I think I need to say him that if you haven't gotten this yet, get this now that I will never marry you, I don't even want to know you or be friends or anything, I just hate this guy whose fantasy was to get me pregnant before marriage, wtf.

 For right now, I am in no mood to do anything but to feel better, I think I should get a shower but this time water is gonna be so hot too, maybe some self pampering is gonna help but feeling too lazy for it too, maybe having a nap is the only solution.

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