April 29, 2022

 

Dear Diary,

They say everything happens for something good, I used to believe it but today I would like to say that I haven't experienced any such good things happening to me, I have experienced all the bad things happening to me. Wtf will I do with such experiences, only for once, why can't I get something that I really want to have in my life. Why life is so unfair to me. Why I am so sensitive, why I am a girl or why my life isn't easy, why I haven't born with a silver spoon, why I always fail, why I am like this, why parents can't understand things, why, sometimes I just hate my existence, what if I wasn't even born or why didn't they killed me just after my birth as I have heard from my mother that they didn't wanted me as I was a girl, why marrying someone is so important, I just don't want to get married at this time, I am not mentally ready, I am not emotionally ready,  I will hate everyone who will come to meet me, why I am so helpless, why my life is like this.  I don't know how to deal with it. Right now I am crying so much I don't know how to calm myself, I don't know how can I overcome my pain, I don't know how to vent out my anger, anxiety, helplessness and everything. 

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