Dear Diary,
How does a heartbreak feel like, maybe it will make you restless, choked, claustrophobic, 🥶, anxious and Idk what more.
My mind has accepted things but my heart isn't ready for it. Although I was knowing this from a long time somewhere in my mind but my dear hope keeps everything alive.
I have to let him go but I don't want to. It's so heart aching, I got to know that time period doesn't matter for liking or loving someone, Idk if it was attraction, attachment or what so but it's isn't easy to let go someone you wanted to have forever. And what should I say about him he is behaving so strange, he had an appointment with a psychiatrist but she didn't get him because what white people will understand our marriage system, they are quite sorted in this purpose. He is staying away from his home to cope with this, he stayed whole day at the office, afterwards gym, his friends house, drunk and even he smoked weed which he said he wouldn't and because he had never done so, it's quite strange for me to see him like this coz in last two and half months I haven't seen him being vulnerable. I have asked him for two more days of his life I will try to bid goodbye to him after making him fine again in these two days. What should I say I am also going through all these but I can cope with the situation. I never felt that our seperation is going to affect him this much.
At this point of time when my parents are desperately searching for a groom for me I am not ready to indulge myself in any kind of relationship right now. I want some time so that I can accept the person full heartedly or I can open up to that person completely but who will tell this to parents, they won't understand, so I have left them to do what they wabt I am having a severe headache and I am feeling heaviness in my chest.
I hope for a better tomorrow.
I talked to many people today, they said I am not the same girl I used to be 2 years back and honestly I do feel same. But everyone and everything changes with time.
Goodnight,