Dear Diary,
This post is going to be about Jo, my dearest Mo Jo Jojo, a.k.a Josephine, my roommate. She left a little less than a month ago, back to Germany, after her semester here. Melanie replaced her, and I found myself having to get used to the antics of a new person in my room. I promised myself I would write a note about Jo, before I began forgetting all the little things that i wanted to remember about her. Not that I'm demented, but life moves fast here, and it's so easy to get used to people coming in and moving out of your life all the time. I find myself appreciating them in that moment, but then it's ends up being a very ephemeral thing, and then once they don't pass through your life enough, you begin losing memories of them.
So here I am, writing down everything I wanna remember about Jo, before time starts doing its evil work on my neurons. I remember meeting her on zoom for the very first time, for our house interview, she seemed like such an energetic girl. She told me about all the work she was doing at school, and the social work on the side, I was impressed. I never knew I was going to have such a soulful person come into my life at that point of time. Afterall, she was one of the random people I messaged from the housing spreadsheet that the uni sent around.
And then the time arrived, when we all arrived in berkeley 1 by 1.I was here before her, I remember the morning she arrived. I was sorting some things in my room, the doorbell rang, and i heard excited conversation from the living room. I peered out and there she was in the hallway, a very tall well built girl, gushing, grinning and waving at me. I felt like a baby in comparison, but offcourse this arrangement turned out to be super helpful,long after, when i was lying shitfaced on the floor, and she singlehandedly carried me all the way to the top floor where our apartment is.
She came to be known as the salad queen in the house, because she loved making salads. the first day we all had dinner together, she made her signature salad and talked about how she was the designated salad queen in all houses she lived. I enthusiastically took a big bunch from the bowl to taste. My bad. It was very strong with a strange sweetness, all the balances were off ( atleast in my humble culinary opinion) and i was thinking of all the creative ways i could think of to politely munch all the greens down.
Later own, i would learn to love her salad, very much like how first time smokers learn to love cigarettes.
She studied international relations and politics. So you can imagine she had an opinion on every single thing on earth. We would have discussions that would sometimes turn into debates about social issues. I ended up thinking many times that she was a naive liberal socialist girl whose life was shaped by the comforting life of a western country. Her motto is offcourse bringing equality to everyone on earth. Thats why she chose to study politics. We once were discussing about the homelessness issue at people's park, and i somehow ended up saying, women given how present state of the world is, should be careful to take care of their own safety. She couldnt believe what i had mentioned. Well, you know how that conversation turned out.
Offcourse, sometimes i think she's naive. Inspite of that, I love her for all her passion that she feels towards the issues she cared about. She's not being fake about it. She cares genuinely. For her las vegas trip, when she figured out how much carbon emissions her plane would make, she cancelled her flight and chose to ride all the way on a bus. She is vegan, because she doesnt want to hurt the animals, she would rather serve in and clean up all the ceramic dishes at our house parties than host them with paper/plasticware to throw away. She attends pickets to support the faculty who are underpaid under bad contracts. You see she's the very typical western social justice warrior. But she's very real about it. She's very much in touch with all the issues she cares about. And even though I could never be in her position, I wouldnt change her one bit . It took time, but I accept her and appreciate her for all that she is.
I love how expressive she is about her feelings. She is not afraid to be vulnerable and be open about her thoughts and insecurities. There is nothing more beautiful than a human being who presents to you as an open book. Even within 2 weeks of us all settling down, we were having deep conversations about life. She'd sometimes break down talking about her past housemates, how she'd never be in the same house with them again, as they have moved on from their college lives. It feels so beautiful to be accepted into someone's life with so much trust and care.
Sometimes we'd run into intimidating situations and we're both trying to be head strong about how we want to do things. Silly when you think about it now. Like putting the water in the mixer story, or cooking rice in the instapot situation. Atleast that's how I'd feel. They'd turn into passive aggressive interactions between us. I guess its cause we both have strong personalities between us. But we'd always find a way to get back to normal.A few minutes later, it would be as if the whole thing never happened. We always found a way to resolve issues without uttering any words.
She is also a very huggy person. she is not afraid to show her affection to people. And she's always very cognizant of other people's feeligns. when filippa was down with her skincare issues, she took time to pull her aside and console her. she didnt need to be told, the fact that filippa had withdrawn into her room was enough for her to reach out to her. She was always watching out for her girls.she took down the flag when she saw how much it was affecting cindy. She held me down and bathed me when i was drunk on the floor. she was the one who started the ritual of asking people how their day was in the evenings. and soon we all caught up. while we were cooking in the kitchen in the evenings, she'd ask about all the things you learnt today, and we'd have amazing conversations about various intellectual things. she always took the time to be present in our lives.
she's adventurous, brave and bold. never afraid to stand up for herself or the people she cares about. she created an org called, young global thinkers, so she could empower young people around the world to rally for the causes they cared about. I wish nothing but the very best for them.
I look back at our time together, and if there's one way I can honor all our memories, is to take all the little things i learnt from my baby jo, and imbibe that in my life. that way, i get to carry a piece of her with me always. I made a mental note of all the things, but here let me write down again:
Be more affectionate. Never be afraid to show people your love.
Care more, reach out and be there for all the people who care for.
Be passionate about the things you care about. Not just in thoughts, but also in actions.
Believe in your voice. Stand up for yourself, stand up for others.
Be real. Be vulnerable to those who deserve your trust and honesty. There is no point living life projecting versions of yourself into the world. There's nothing more beautiful than having the courage to reveal your true self.
I love you baby Jo, for all the life and soul you possess. I will miss you, but you will always a have a special place in my heart. I dont know when we'll meet again or if we'll, but I'm so glad our paths crossed! I wouldnt have my life any other way! I hope you achieve all your dreams and goals, I cant wait to celebrate your big and small wins in life from wherever I am.
Love,
XOXOXO
M