Dear G,
I think not all people kill themselves because they have a very fcked up day, I think it's the total opposite for some. Like for how so long you contained that void inside of you then one day everything feels like extraordinary; your mom is taking extra good care of you, you're playing games with your dad, hanging out and laughing with your friends.. it feels like the sadness isn't there anymore. You want to end the day to stop the tick of the time because you don't want to ruin the experience. You know it'll all come back to you the moment that day is over so you'll just end everything to make you feel like that day last forever. And I am looking forward for this kind of moment to come in my life.