Dear God, I don't know what to do. I feel me so unneeded and so unloved. Like. Everything I do it is a fake. And... It's everything are so... Empty
I feel me bad. Guilty. Afraid.
I don't know.
I feel me bad cos I don't have phynancial. Personal. I feel me so pushed, stucked, unneeded. Like... White rabbit. That has lost. Somewhere. Don't know exactly where.
God, I feel me very bad living with my granny. She is so... Unhealthy. And... Also... With all those people that have other surname than me. Sure. Cool. That You are blessing me through financing through them. But... Maybe You know the better way?
Ark is there. I don't know what to do.
I need to write the letter. I need to decorate his Bible. I need to do the project for Peter. I need to... Gift books to my proffesors. And. Also. I need to full normally, greatly info about... In those resources. Linkedin. And kwork and weblance.
I am afraid. And... I don't know what to do.
I am moving really slowly. Also. I need to remember those two songs... And edit vids. And... I have no food for me. I feel me so bad. Cos mother cooks for other. With all... Those... Stuff. It is bad. For me. I feel me. So bad. In this kitchen. Like. I do not have any access there. At all. Like. I do not have any ability to live.
Also. Vlad will be 2 day of the January. I think it is bad for me to be there. Isn't it. But... To be. With the youth... Of 5th community. It's also. Weird. If. Ark would be there. He is already in the city. Tommorow. I could see him. Am I afraid? I am terrified. I am sooooo terrified...... A loooooot. At all.
God. I feel me bad, bad, bad, bad......
I am afraid. And. Cos of so bad type of eating. Even worst. I don't want to live anymore. But. Also. I know. That. Food. In the Live in Spirit. And... In the 100 days with Jesus. Maybe not the best.
God, I has failed. With Prayer room. I have failed... So much with other
And...
Vlad is doing... Merch. So. I am feeling so, so gross. So bad. I wanna to kill myself at all. And do not live.
I have my type of living. I am afraid of this flat. To being there. Forever. But. Also. I am afraid of everything else.
So. I don't know
I. Don't. Know....