December 24, 2022

 

Dear God, I am feeling me like I am going to die. I am so afraid. So, so afraid. I am afraid he could talk with me. I am afraid he would talk with others. I am afraid somebody will like him and will flirt with him. I am afraid to be proposed. I ma afraid to be unliked. I am afraid just to go. Literally? I would prefer to go to the 5th community.


I haven't prepared still... This stuff to drying my face.


I am so afraid. A lot .

I am just terrified.


I don't know what to do...

I am afraiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid to talk with somebody. I am afraid to be talked. I am afraid the most to be used. I don't want he would be too close. Physically. I am afraid. For real. Of this. What if. I wouldn't like him 

What if he is not beautiful. What if he has awful character. What if...

I don't know ..

What if his mother will not like me. What if I would always be attached to VM. What if I am a lier. What if he will be in our church in 2.01... What if I will die when will see him. What if I would be judged by others. From youth. What if... I wouldn't be. Recognized. What if I wouldn't sing clearly.


I am going to die inside of my soul. I am so afraid. So scared. I don't know what to do. I don't know anything. I am afraid ... Go, I am afraid. God, I am afraid. God, I am afraid. How my life will be after this meeting?


What are You preparing for me?


Why I have received so unperfect mark


God, what if I am a satan?

God, what if I would have bad behaviour?

God, what if I would be unfaithful?

God, what if?

What if he is killer and wants to kill me?

What if he is a murder and he wants to murder me?


God, what is going on with my life?

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