Whoa! So Peru just told me she doesn't find me physically attractive (no surprise there) and she's afraid her thoughts of this is going to impede her decision making. I understand her thinking and I know people do think like that, but this kind of cements my worries that she only wants to be friends. It took her so long to open up and tell me this. I am kind of mad because I don't typically like people who judge by physical appearance, but my personality may change her mind and she was honest. I feel awful now because I believe I only want to hang out with her now just to have sex. That's kind of a waste of time for me. I'm looking for a wife and not a fuck buddy. Peru is fucking gorgeous, but idk if I can get over her way of thinking. I know if I bring it up it will turn into a huge argument probably for 2 days and also, I maybe overreacting since she still wants to hang out when she comes next month. I want to sleep on it, but the more I think about it the worse it gets. It really doesn't bother me that she thinks I'm not physically attractive because i honestly think I'm average looking, while she is drop dead gorgeous, but at the same time that thought process is not acceptable to me. I just don't like that way of thinking. We've been talking all this time and she had told me she thinks I'm cute, but that was kind of a lie. Also, why wouldn't you want someone who you clearly get along with and trust? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't want to be just friends and I don't even want her as a friend after she told me that. That's very superficial. Damn... idk what to do. I'm going to just sleep on it and not overreact... honestly I'll probably show her this one because I don't want her to think I just want to only have sex with her. That's not my priority, but from an overview perspective nothing has changed. I still want to find out if she's one of the few in February and I'm sure she wants to find out if her superficial thought is going to make or break us. She was honest, but for being self conscious about her physical appearance, I'm stunned Peru actually judges people by that. Actions speak louder than words and I guess ultimately she just told me that because she doesn't know her answer yet just like I don't know my answer yet if we are going to work. I always thought Peru felt that way about my physical appearance and i don't blame her, but I'm surprised because she is always getting on me about random things and this thought she had is really superficial... alright I have to sleep on this one... oh yea one more thing. Peru said she wanted to find a party in the city I'm picking her up at and she was going to talk to the nice people at the airport so we will have something planned. Does she have to get drunk to enjoy my company? Shit like this makes me think she just wants to be friends because she wants to be around other people and not spend the day only with me.
-DrAW