January 19, 2022

Dear Diary,

Why do I have trouble messaging people back? people will message me and it isn't that I don't want to message them back but sometimes my anxiety takes over and I just cant seem to find the energy to message them back, which doesn't help with making friends because not many people understand that I sometimes just cant respond and that I need to be alone I wish things could be different but I cant help but shut down especially if I know they are going to bring up a topic that will cause me to get depressed or if it is someone who reminds me of the pain I am feeling because I don't want to talk about certain things I just want to ignore it and not talk about it and I know it isn't healthy but it is so much easier than dealing with the pain that I am feeling because I don't want to feel it.