Dear Diary, I felt sick this whole afternoon after I woke up at 5 am and headed to walk, and made 8k steps at a time. Felt my heart beating faster anxiously. My stomach also felt strange so that I didn’t have diner except tiny rice ball to prepare to have medication.
Not felt joyful like I did in the morning. my negative mind challenged me to make me listen to its evil voice. But I didn’t let it in!
I’m still feeling lower. Is it because up coming period or the end of winter break…? Maybe both. And Don’t know what to do for job search. I am managing to deal with negative self talk and live my daily life more lifely as possible. I’m trying to back/be normal/healthy. Still struggling to find what’s my strong point or to get enough confidence.
My dream job is to run an art gallery. But hm I’m good at finding why I can’t do it. Well I am sure I can find these for job search without trying. Am I willing to be hired? I don’t know but I want job to work after my graduation in next March…
Where did I kept hiding these stuffs to worry? Im so sad that I’m not a little child anymore…
But I love you anyway my dear myself! Don’t forget about it! You have such a beautiful heart which is filled with kindness. You are so so unique because you have heart that the kind the modern world almost forgot. You are so special to me. Why not because you are the most close person of me. You can be the version of you that you want to be. I’m believe in you. This time I am here for you.