Dear Diary,my first mistake was answering the phone it would’ve been fantastic to chop it up about us but she wanted to gossip about Mom, aunties, sister, brother cousin. I warned that I’m not interested she stated “You are my person!” I felt guilty. Guilty of letting her build my character up in her head where she felt i was the perfect candidate to dish the Tea and the involvements of everyone life. She’s my sister and granted this is what sisters do but man she triggers sadness in me about an hour in im contemplating on sugary snacks. I wanted to munch on something to ease the forming anxiety that’s she’s placing on me. I would comment out of love let’s talk about something else. She persist im going to avoid verbal conversations for a whole im going to blame my busy schedule which is valid on my distance. I need new conversations a mentor whose looking towards future goals instead of mess and drama. Im tunnel vision to the non sense.
O lord I want to break free I know my default is to dispose of ppl when they don’t feed into my reality anymore and that not fair especially if it’s my sister. But I need a break we haven’t really talked in two weeks I be been happy to be on the outs to drama im unable to solve. Guide me in a positive way . I pray she finds a new source for her concerns Im unable unless the conversation is more positive. In Jesus name amen