December 24, 2021

 

Dear Diary, it doesn’t feel like Christmas I was peer pressured into doing celebratory acts. I could have just read my Bible and seeked a closer relationship w/God threw his word and been content. At work today at 2nd job working early shift came in at a great time due to me taking a holiday PTO from job 1. I do have tomorrow and Sunday off so cool to have a weekend off haven’t experienced it in a while. Wanted to study up on fasting I feel it will be a great habit to venture into its mentioned for prayer in the Bible as well as health benefits through science and YouTube. I need it to aid in my journey of self control. I have an undiagnosed case of binge eating disorder and unhealthy fade dieting past I’m trying to yield myself out of. I find myself compromising the most when it comes to my diet. I’ve stored away all my cute girl clothes and substituted for 3x Reebok and Walmart sweats. 2019 was my year for leveling up I lost the weight and I was always dressed to impress, gym bound then COVID. Covid tested the weak from the strong mentality. Do to my theology of the word ending I figured I’ll give all my money to McDonalds for their 10 chocolate chip cookies in a box, yummy. I took it to far , 70 lbs later I’m overweight and avoidant of others I hide in the house were I work16 hour days sleep and watch podcast &lectures.  It’s a little pathetic but I’m overcoming slowly but surely…

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