December 22, 2021 #134


Dear Diary, one day I wrote that I suddenly feel like I have to read otherwise my brain will go bad. And I actually went to buy several good classic books… by train!!! I had already read one, Kafka’s the metamorphose. I found it is a very interesting story. I don’t really read or watch story which has a bad end. The another book I finished today, which was “The old man and the sea” was also a story with a bad end. But still what he tried earned prize. This book encouraged me trying to be changed and being in slump. The metamorphose was a sad story. Especially to me because I usually spend my depressed time alone in my room. And my family wouldn’t open the door of my room. My depressed feeling is like pollution esp to my mom   I am so sorry for her. She’d never imagine her new born baby grows like this. But I will be okay. I’m changing. No I don’t mean to become a insect. He was killed at the end :( if I were his family I wouldn’t treat him like that. Cuz I don’t hate insects. He did have no attempt to harm his family but his dad did. Oh it was sad story. He died in hunger and probably loneliness. So sad. So so sad. 

Well hmm today was a good day. My little sister was fine. No serious hallucinations. Smiled and laughed a lot. The clouds in the sky was incredibly beautiful. Not too thin but not thick. The sun light was so gorgeous. I love watching cloud but it’s the most beautiful cloud I had ever seen, I felt. I don’t know but I felt as if I was watching a beautiful moment of a movie or something. It was absolutely magic. I’m sad but I will forget this someday.  I took a photo but they are not exact same clouds. Clouds are beautiful but they look boring in photo :P