Dear Diary,
In all honesty, I think writing this note is the most exciting part of the day. I was feeling so anxious, I was about to write this yesterday and give it the title, Bday note, A day before.
Sweety asked me, what was the best thing this year. I think, one good thing is, I somehow learnt to care less, and how little I think now about things I don't have any control over is a wonderful thing. Another best thing has to be Ashik & Ruchi. Last year exactly on this day we sort of started a new relationship =D and since then we spent countless hours gossiping and playing and drinking teas.
Summary of the year
The year did not begin very exciting, kiot was on a slow track and I missed her all the time. And goodbye to her was so heartbreaking.
But my interest in science started growing. I once wrote about unified forces, later found that string theory aims to achieve something similar. I also completed the course 'Imagining Other earths'. I learnt many things, and I learnt that science is a very humble field.
I went home, met Nana. I saw how life was getting difficult for him in the end and how he started giving up. Met Nani, i knew that the only thing she needs more was love. Nobody thinks much about it, but they were such great couple.
This was the time, i started talking to Komal. I wanted to give myself another chance and it was lovely to meet someone who likes jagjit singh and so patiently listens to all the science gibberish i talk about.
Di came here, and we were going out and little did i know what life was about to hand me.
Coid. Within just one week, everyone in office got it. But very soon everyone were getting better. I knew shyam would also be just fine... He could not. For the first time, i saw a death Happening and I realized the fragility of everything. For the first time, i really doubted, if it's all for the good in the end.
Nana left us, I could not go home. I did not shed a tear, I knew this day would come.
Went home later in May, I made the idiotic biodata and crushed my soul. But the good thing is I met Ankita. She was sweet, she tried to understand me too, but I knew she wouldn't be happy with me. At least now I have one more friend.
We hit 50 Partners milestone.
Aman left, I felt cheated and i learnt that even good people lie, and sometimes because they don't have the courage, to be honest.
Hiring an engineer got soo difficult, this time I spoke with at least 200 people.
Meera went to US, Saikat to Amsterdam and Arvind got himself a Shruti.
And here I am. But a lot more solid than I was last year.
---
I got a few hard things this year, but many good things too. I feel very grateful for having mom and sweety and Shweta di. I feel I am so lucky to have friends like Meera. To have Ruchi, Aashik, Dawrani. And Sarita for giving me butterflies in my stomach =D.
This year has made me a lot stronger and so much more conscious. I am getting more certain about the uncertainty of this world and that is so empowering in a way, I feel everything is right, every person is too.
---
What i learnt
Last year i set a goal to be less attached, i think i am less attached now.
Life is very fragile, and very unpredictable, a lot more than we realize.
Not everybody is honest.
With age comes acceptance, most people adjust and grab whatever they can get.
Everyone has a different perspective, and I cannot change people's perspectives with just my wish.
Life is what it is. No good no bad. We are here to live.
Scientists are not stupid. Many things in the world are logical and events can be explained with cause.
I learnt many things about science, how many things work, how we find different planets etc. I read einstiens original paper of general relativity and learnt how the one liner equation which is considered absolute god today was mere a methamatical experiment. (i wish i could really understand, what is math in its absolute sense).
Now my best part.
6. See things with more optimism and think of how something can work rather than how it may not.
7. Be more dynamic, take more risks.
8. Be more humble. And more grateful for life.
9. Establish one side hustle.
10. Learn quantum computing.
11. Meditate more
---