Dear Diary, the last month of the year was just begun. I still struggling with low self esteem. I can’t tell what kind of person am I anymore.
Well my mom didn’t seem angry at all. I don’t know maybe she knows that I skipped the class. Because she told me that she keeps more than half of what she wants to tell me in her mind cuz she knows those words can break my heart. So I really don’t know what does she think about me. She’s just kind enough to be kind to me probably. If so, I don't really know if her love toward me is voluntary thing or she forces herself… Is thinking like this also selfish…? How can I change this brain? Hmmm I feel I can’t be hired because of the low self esteem and fear to be harmed. I saw my childhood friend dresses in suits. I wasn’t sure why she had to wear that. Person like her must be hired already. To a ceremony of the company? Or still do job interview? If so, I am in worse situation. Either way, it was wired time. Where she had to go? It was 1pm.