October 28, 2021 #55

 

Dear Diary,I went to my part time job as scheduled. I didn’t upset like I was worrying. 

But i find myself feeling lonely when I left my mom at home alone with my sis. 

I am usually the one who most likely to lose energy and feeling down among my family and friends, but I had stayed okay while I’m a proud supporter of my mom.  

I wonder how my mom always manages to keep her chin up… 

It must be tough to have easily depressed kid and her little sister who born with d.s. and now with serious mental illness… I need to be strong. Current me even can’t search and apply for job for my after graduation… I need to be strong enough to live in this society. 


Back to about my day.


Today my boss wasn’t at her desk when I arrived the firm. She didn’t come back for 3 hours or so. I started to work as she left note for me. 

…but I was doing completely different thing without knowing FOR THREE HOURS!!! 

When she’s backed and checked my work, she asked me why I didn’t asked if someone knows it.  She isn’t a mean person at all but I really feel ashamed. That’s very usual me. I tend to forget I can ask for help and try to do everything by myself first. I don’t feel negative about asking for help but I always forget to do so. Weep!


As the highlight of today’s part time, the patent attorney who is in charge of the case I made the translated version gave a compliment on the translation I submitted. Well, I accept the compliment and am feeling happy but actually I just used Google translate in a sufficient way. Umm yep. But you know, the deadline is more important. This wasn’t a paper for my course. 


My mom texted me to let me know medicine is working well on my poor little sis. I’m feeling relieved a bit. Well, but also my sis texted me saying she thinks it’s a good time to hold a press conference of her favorite celebrity for magazine reporters 😅😅🙃 But it seemed her scary auditory hallucination was away from her. Never come back to her ever again, demons!! You’re fired!! 



I’m listening to Cher while writing this by the way.


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