[ENTRY 36..✍]
I dreamt that Chace and I talked and we argued about the creation of the Bible.. I told him the Babylonians did it and he said it was the Pikachus (I'm pretty sure he meant Pokemons) and that they dipped the book into a rainbow before it contained all of its "magical" properties. In my dream, I thought he had gone lunatic but having woken up, it actually makes more sense. Historians better take note of that.
And then I had a mild sleep paralysis. When I opened my eyes, somehow, in my vision, the curtain manifested the form of a stuffed horse (fascinating how the mind can conjure another image out of a completely different object) and I was so creeped out cos what the fuck was a giant stuffed horse doing in my room? So I tried to call my younger sister but you know how sleep paralysis works, you're hardly in control of your body. I struggled to make a sound out of my mouth, eventually succeeding but as usual, never loud enough that I only heard myself mutter my sister's name in a low voice. After a few moments, I finally managed to pull myself out from the horrific palsy but the heaviness of my eyes was way too familiar and I just knew all too well that the moment I'd close them again, I'd immediately be engulfed in another paralytic episode. So I kept my eyes wide open, defying the call for more sleep. Besides, I'd slept enough and was starving. At about 3am, I finally got up to cook some hams.
I wish I could have lucid dreams, though. I mean.. I have them, actually, plenty of times, but I have yet to experience the total capacity of manipulation the mind can do in such a state. Knowing you're dreaming in a dream is the most basic kind of lucid dreaming, and acting on your own accord—like when you're awake—comes next. One example would be when I dream of being tortured. I had this rather brutal one: this person slicing my stomach and pulling out my internal organs. Since I knew I was only dreaming, I just let him do it. Here and then, I'd feel tingling sensations of slight pain within the area of my abdomen but meh, I was only dreaming. Another would be being thrown into the ocean. I'd tell my mind to just breathe because it's only a dream, anyway. Whenever I dream of something like this, I always feel powerful because in real life, I can't swim, so being able to breathe underwater—even when the experience is not real—is fucking awesome.
Now what I want to attain is the complete and utter dominance one can do in lucid dreaming. And by this, I mean being able to control EVERYTHING that happens in the realms of your unconsciousness. I actually tried quite hard earlier this year, telling myself at all times that once I enter the dream world, I should remind myself I'm only dreaming and that I have all the power to manipulate everything around me. But I only got a taste of it once and it wasn't even at all that long.
I was sitting at the bank of a river (it was a picturesque view) and I had my uncle with me, but I wanted somebody else to be there instead. So I made my uncle disappear and to my amazement, he actually did. In the dream, I felt so triumphant, thinking: "This is it.. This is finally it. I've finally achieved total lucid dreaming!" I concentrated so hard to summon Chace's presence at the riverbank but with this amount of concentration, my awareness only grew wider that I eventually slipped away from the dream. And never again had I made someone disappear in a snap.
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