September 29, 2021

 

I’m logging this because it’s probably the worst I’ve physically felt. I got my 2nd covid vaccine today (mandatory if I want to keep my job) and I had to binge and purge still. I had to because someone at work bought us all dinner. So if I was going to eat that, I had to eat everything. So with a 101.8 F fever and body aches from the vaccine reaction, I ate and then made myself throw up over and over. My body hurts. 


I had been doing good not eating. I eat under 500 calories a day. I was down to 87.4 lbs. but this ruined it. Nothing is worth eating. It always feels better to be thin. My stomach had gotten so flat but now I’m bloated again. It’ll take a few days to feel light and less fat again.


I fool most people at work. I wear baggy scrubs and a scrub jacket that’s too big on me. A few people might comment but I fool them. I’ll order food or take food but I throw it away.


Tonight I was weak. Tomorrow I’ll be back on track again.

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