Desires & Fantasies


[ENTRY 8..✍]

I began watching Spartacus about a week ago but this entry isn't about the show at all, no; it's about my sexual urges when my period is about to come and during the time when I have it. If you've read my previous entries, you would know that I've been horny since last year. However, there's a period of time where my libido is at its highest. As already mentioned above: the days before and during menstruation.

During these times, my sexual desires rise up like crazy hormones bouncing back and forth all over the erogenous zones of my body. So crazy that recently, I've been fantasizing about being fucked by—guess what—multiple gladiators (yes, hence the mention of Spartacus) in the middle of the arena as people of Capua watch and cheer just before the beasts—my very own conquerors—start killing each other in the most brutal ways they usually do.

Ah, me and my hentai-level fantasies. You'd never expect that from a cute little girl. Idk why it's such a turn-on for me to imagine myself in the hands of much much bigger men when I can barely handle a single dick. I guess it's a kinkiness best left in the realm of fantasies. They're way too extreme. But that's what makes them "fantasies", does it not? They remain in the imagination because the chances of it happening in real life is close to impossible, if not already. Besides, banged by big, strong and muscular men? I could never.

Or could I?


Bring them gladiators 😂


Fantasy aside, I just got my period and I'm horny as hell. I know, I know. The frustration of having no one to fuck when arousal visits. Tsk. Not that all guys are into period sex, but.. Fuck.

Just one.

All I need is just one guy to sweep me off my feet and fuck me senseless. It doesn't have to be now. I myself is not a very big fan of period sex. It's messy and eek and they can't "go down" on me. But, hey. Sometimes we can't just control our urges, okay? Sometimes we do things we didn't plan even when we know how, ahem, messy it can get.

If only I weren't so picky, I'd probably be fucking someone already. But I am. I could never sleep with someone for just looks alone. It's never enough. I have to like you. We have to connect. It doesn't have to be deep as long as at least, a sexual connection is present.

Why is it so hard for me to like someone?

I wish I'd bump into a hot guy this week (preferably French) and then I drop something on the ground and we both try to pick it up and then our eyes would meet and we stand real slow as we continue gazing deep into each other's soul as a romantic song starts playing in the background. And just like that, he becomes my prince charming like in all of those typical cringey romantic films and we live happily ever after. Why does reality suck? I'm not even asking for an ever after. Just one night. Haha. Lemme go start bumping people.