Dear Diary,
Today I had a talk with my best friend regarding marriage. We both talked about the prospect of marrying each other. He wanted to date first for sometime, I wanted to try dating others and if I can't find anyone we could marry each other. It hurt his ego as he felt like an option. Then he said he will need more time then, he will also look for options. He said that he doesn't think he can find someone better than me. Our backgrounds are different, I am from a pretty well off family, mostly in terms of education, everyone in my family is pretty talented and well educated. He said his family is nice, but he doesn't have much to offer, all he can offer is him. His family is not so educated but they are nice and simple people. His education background is also not that good.
One thing I know about him is that he is the nicest person I ever met. I said his financial condition does not bother me, but we don't love each other. So, I want to try finding someone from matrimonial sites. Though I get proposals from guys who earn 6 times more than him and good looking etc, and they asked me for marriage only. It's not that I can't get good guys. But I never felt a connection the way I felt with him. It's not romantic but he is just like family to me. So I know I will be happy if I marry him, but then he is not so ambitious, he is not so career oriented.
To be honest, I know I enjoy spending time with him. But living together for life is a big decision. I kinda want to marry him but I wish he had done better education wise in his life. Like my family and me have studied from the top colleges of India. I sing and dance well. I used to always be among top 3 most popular girls in school college and even in office among my training batch and project. And I know how other guys have previously tried to imply my then bfs were not good enough for me, like looks or education wise, mostly education wise.
He have been a below average student, which is for me the most negative point about him. It took him 5 years to complete his Btech, because he couldn't clear his maths paper. I have been known for being good at maths. And his brother is very bad at studies irresponsible. My brother is very good at studies, and a responsible person.
though he is the most mature guy I met, like I am good at studies but when it comes to real life scenarios, I am a little dumb there. But he is smart and mature. I like the way he views the world. I feel like a bad person here judging him. But anyways, I know I have never been this compatible with anyone. So, that's the positive point. It is pretty sure he has feelings for me. We care for each other. He helped me get over my depression, he was the one who actually listened to me and made me normal again. I think I am kinda addicted to him at this point. We talk so much.
Let's see what happens. Guys who are good looking having good education and all, somehow have issues. Like either they are weird or they don't care enough or they just don't feel the need to be good. I don't know,. AM had everything, looks and education etc. But all he gave me was depression and trauma. He seemed like a nice guy at first. So, i have said a lot for today.
I just hope whatever happens, I don't regret it. I don't want to marry someone and regret not marrying him. And I don't want to marry him and regret not marrying someone better. I mean someone better financially, social standards wise. Because I can guarantee I won't get a better person than him.
Lastly he is passionate about Harry Potter and Computers a lot. And I must say I have seen that he really has lot of knowledge regarding this two.
Regards,
Anne