Dear Diary, she talked so much about writing different guys on Tinder today. One of them wrote her that he believes she just wants fun. She was annoyed (which I can understand). And then she said that she was kinda searching for fun that day.
It hurts me to hear this, nut of course it is her right to do this. Maybe I would do it too, if I was a girl. If I was a girl I would have experimented too. Too bad that I'm not the right gender.
I thought that maybe I meant something to her and all the things we did together meant something. But of course not.
I stayed surprisingly calm. Probably because I already knew that she doesn't like me.
I will never tell her anything. I don't want to bring anymore pain to anyone and she did nothing wrong. But I should probably meet her less. I shouldn't give her so much attention if she doesn't care about me.
Oh and then she asked why I don't get together with one of the other girls we were hiking with. I already told her that I have almost nothing in common with that girl. And she literally said today that she doesn't want a relationship right now.
That was almost worse than the Tinder thing.
She was my only hope and now I have nothing. There is literally no way for me to meet anyone else. Maybe in a year.
Waiting another year is nothing right? Who needs human connection anyway.