Dear Diary,
Hii
I'm here literally after a month.
Kuch khas hua nahi last ek month me. Wahi sb like us din k baad uska meko ignore krna and mera usko chase krna, fault is mine I get emotionally involved. Fir I went back home then ghar me ek din drama some arguments with papa and then after total interval of 10 days I was back but this time my brother too came. My exam didn't go well. Fir the whole week I was procrastinating, like I was lazy to do anything and my weird mood these days.
Today mumma papa came. I have an exam on 14th too I am preparing but not at that extent. These days I feel so lonely. Like is baar to Harshit bhi nahi tha mera sad story sunne ko.
Actually right now in my life there is no one to whom I can talk , I mean to whom I can share my true feelings. One day I got motivated and studied for days nicely but then since yesterday I am again wasting my time.
And today I went to the temple, I just saw that he has deactivated his insta n fb although I don't care for fb as I wasn't connected to him there but on insta my sole purpose of sharing stories was that I know he will see it instantly. As my story was only visible to 4 people him n his friends. But now what's the point I will be again inactive. I know that he doesn't even think about me once but I can't stop myself. I am little sad as I know this time he will not return to me, I just want to know whether he has left this city or he will come back as I think ghar me hai wo but Idk. I know that he has deactivated his accounts so that he can focus and prepare well for his pg examination which may get conducted in November. So right now there are two things in my mind. Either I should talk to someone else so that I can get rid of this loneliness and unknown sadness linked to this loneliness or inspired from him I should also keep myself completely busy and be dedicated to only and only studies and my physical health. Sometimes I think I need to meet a physicist to get rid of these things, this emptiness. Well right now I don't know what to do. It's definitely ki from tomorrow I will have to study hard for next 4days. At the same time I want someone so that I don't feel lonely. Atleast someone to talk 5-10 mins a day.
I have a thought in my mind I will text him on 31st Aug that I want to talk to him for 10mins and no old things in the conversation maybe umeed kam hai baat hogi ya fir mera mann hi na ho us din msg krne ka. Idk from now.
Let's hope tomorrow turns out to be a better day.
And right now maybe I could fall asleep. :)
Goodnight