Dear Diary,
Yes, so basically I became really upset yesterday, the reason was both my college roommates are getting married with their college life bfs.
And here I am still single and clueless, no love story. It was not a good enough reason to be so upset but I was already having negative thoughts. I had a bf during college and after 3 years of relationship I found out he was impotent. And it didn't last. He was not a good bf anyways. I think my bad luck is why I have such negative thoughts. I think it's always going to be like that.
I don't really want to care, but still at times I feel like everything is worthless. Poor salary , no bf. Basically I haven't done anything remarkable in life at 27. And therefore I don't know what to think. More than anything I wanted a love story. But I realised I will always be average and have no or horrible love life. And adding to that I have a horrible past. So I think of death so many times. I guess it's ok. It's ok to feel this way.
Did I tell you my father is an addict. He drinks and smokes daily and has mental issues. He spends most of his earning on drinks. Since childhood had to deal with that also. Parents fighting everyday. Father having schizophrenia.
I don't really tell people about it. I guess God planned it, to do horrible things to me and make me want to die.