July 24, 2021
Dear Diary,
I suck. I'm tired and I have a lot to do. I tried some apps for finding friends - most of them were just dating apps trying to look like friendship ones, others were straight up scams or just literally didn't have any users. It feels so lame. I feel very lame. But I've been feeling really lonely so I couldn't help myself.
I had some weird interactions, some boring ones, some harassment too. And then a girl talked to me for a while. Looks like we have a lot in common, she seems nice and interesting. And I'm ignoring her texts now.
Why am I ignoring her texts?
Deep down, I think it won't work. Friendship. I think I'll have all the failed social interactions in the world until I die. And that's not very optimistic but it surely is how I feel. It isn't very realistic either. Mathematically, it's impossible that in my entire life, I won't have at least ONE good social interaction. This doesn't make me any more hopeful though.
So, I'm feeling like an alien again. I always end up being an alien. It would explain why I can't communicate with the human beings, I think. This makes me feel better. I'll draw a bunch of aliens tomorrow.
R
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