Dear Diary,
I don't know what is the problem with my relationship, but I'm tired of feeling like I don't matter to my boyfriend. We argued all the damn time and all he seems to know how to do, is lie to me about any and everything you could possibly lie about. Then he gets mad at me because, I don't believe none of his lies and then after he's accused me of shit I'm not doing, he wants to start rubbing on me. To be honest with you, I don't like to be touched after he's pissed me off because, it makes me feel like that's all he wants to do. He's always leaving and half the time he doesn't even come home, hell leave and be gone for days or a whole week. He says, I was out hustling, but I don't believe that because if that was the truth he'll have some sort of proof. If I was gone for a week so called hustling, when I come home I'm gonna have more then a rack in my pocket. I do believe that he's out fucking around on me and he's just not man enough to tell me the truth. If I find out that he's up to no good after all the shit I've sat around and put up with, I'm gonna seriously fuck him up. I'm tired of these men chasing me and pursuing me, but the minute I decide to give them a chance they go right out and cheat on me. I don't got time for this shit and he's too fucking old to be doing the shit that he's out here doing. When is he gonna grow up because, we're suppose to get married on the 1st of August, which will be his 51st birthday, but I don't see that happened. We haven't went to go and get the marriage license or certificate, so what the fuck is gonna happen because, I'm seriously getting fed up with all this dumb ass, unnecessary ass bullshit. I want a real man that can treat me exactly how I deserve to be treated because, the men that I've been getting are all the fucking same. When the hell does it all end and the good shit begins? Enough is enough already and he has 30 days to get his shit together or I'm packing my shit and I'm fucking leaving his ass. Like right now we got a fucking hotel room but while I was asleep he left the room and I can't tell you how long he was gone, I was asleep, again.