June 12, 2021

 

Dear Diary,


Kemper left so early again this morning. I think he left on his own because I didn't hear anyone else pull up. He was dressed just like last time, of course. Guns and all too. 

I am not against guns, I never have been. I just wonder why he needs them or thinks he needs them. I hope he doesn't actually need them.

It is clear that he will not change what he does. I just have to learn to accept it. It is the "how" that is the issue now.

Regina and I went to the store this morning. It was a relief that she offered because I actually needed to get some stuff. 

She and I had a long breakfast and talked. I kind of just fell apart and started talking about how I don't think this is for me. I am struggling with accepting the club. She sat and listened very politely and she said it isn't the easiest sometimes. She then told me of a time when Teak was locked up for a year. Which is such a relief that Kemper won't be gone for a year but at the same time, I hope that doesn't happen either. She said that she would be there and so would the club if anything ever happened. I didn't want to keep talking about it and I told her such.

I have a lot to process with everything she said. I would love to go pet the horses again but Cant is weird. I am just going to go for a walk and see if that helps. 


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