Dear Diary,
I think i'm becoming too fond of the idea of money. I never knew learning about handling it and eventually multiplying it would be such a rabbit hole. As much as possible I try to keep it cool and stay grounded. But I am starting to love the idea of money, I don't know if that's such a good idea.
Last night I watched this woman who was reacting to this video showing how an entrepreneur explains that there are some cases in businesses where you shouldn't feel obligated to share every detail of your success and secrets to each and every person that asks you for help or advice. The woman reacting showed anger in a way, she said "this is why black people are always losing." (for context, all the people in the video I was watching were darkskinned; none of it was of racism context) it was about the shame of why black businesses don't grow it's because some are just laser focus on the goal of winning, but forget to put humanity first. The scenario given was what if a friend of yours was asking you tips and advice for them to try and be successful too. While the entrepreneur went with the "professional" way saying they should at least arrange a meeting yada yada, the reactor pointed out how this was a friend they were talking about, it wasn't just a random stranger.
The commentary reactor explained how when all was gone in her life, she was always generous. In the end she was also saved by the people around her, who returned the favor when she was the one in need. Because of the support she had, she was given the opportunity to build her own foundation one by one, having her own business. Note that while she had this skincare line she also posted the ingredients of her products on youtube to help people. Back then she was well aware that people could plagiarize or jeopardize her business but she didn't think twice as she had pure intentions. Her disappointment was evident, and at some point it made me teary-eyed.
I wasn't usually the sensitive type but the video kind of gave me an epiphany, about how I could also use some humanity, and that it wouldn't hurt. I am well aware of the instances that I was rude or brutally honest, with no empathy. I recalled the times when I was better than this whole facade and it made me emotional. No matter how much change I think I have gone through to stop being so vulnerable, I think I still can be a good person.
But the idea of money and how it lifts me away from reality and how the game of money slowly becomes addictive- I hope to never lose my humanity. I am quite an insensitive asshole as I could be, but I hope I never lose that part of myself.