A Sense of Ownership (childish rant)

 

Dear Diary,

Ever since I got settled in this house the people have been kind. My relatives have this notion of sharing everything though, and I'm not sure if I like that. I have been used to having my own things- I know because I earned these things; and I don't mean the simple things like borrowing of shirts or food- these are common things. What I hate sharing is the shampoo, and those hygeine stuff. Having a lot of people in one house means that hygienic necessities can easily be scarce. I have grown to hate sharing them, but currently I am living under a roof that isn't owned by me in any way, and I somehow feel obliged to go with everything because I feel like I owe it to them in some way as if I didn't I feel like it would be insulting.


I have mentioned in my past entries that I live in a family-oriented kind of environment. It can sound great as it is but sometimes it can be a toxic thing. Sharing doesn't bother me that much, here I am currently sleeping in the sofa (living room), and while this is the most comfortable I think I could be, this is the only space I can get for myself, none of this around me is anything of my possession and that doesn't make me feel secure somehow. 


Sometimes I get to think about why my Mother is always choosing to be in a home that she can't really call her own. She's never experienced moving out, I don't know if it's because she's terrified of being alone or it's really just because she still has dues to pay. In this environment she's required to contribute- and contributing is not bad at all- however she sometimes shoulders half the price or at least a higher cut of the price she actually uses, and in this way she doesn't really get to save money as well. What is it, really?? 

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