Dear Diary,
Slept only around 3am. Thanks to the weekend vibes and gamer husband. He was playing batman on PlayStation while I read on wattpad.
Had a super realistic dream. I'm amazed by the rawness of the dream.
Dream:
I'm in my boarding school, 10th grade. We are all sitting in our study room, like usual, with my batch mates. The study room is nothing but a classroom during school hours for lower grade kids and becomes a study room for the boarders after school hours.
Comprising of desks and chairs, spaced for two kids each. And my study room's capacity is 24 pairs of desks and chairs. The room looks packed. I am sitting in the middle row, fifth desk, on the left side and someone is on my right.
There's a teacher to mind us all. We are working on our homeworks when she decides to announce, " So, I'm gonna select this months study room leader."
We stop our work and whisper among ourselves.
She calls out the current leader and congratulates her service for the last month.
And calls out my name, once she's done with the previous leader.
I'm like, no way in hell. I shake my head in disapproval. She doesn't seem to take the hint and urges me to stand up.
I stand up and say, "I don't want to be the leader." I surprise myself and the room with the boldness in my tone. I haven't been aware of such an attitude, until that moment.
The teacher seems unfazed and keeps insisting on my leadership.
I find the bottled up words flow free, from my heart, "I don't want to a leader. I don't know how to lead. I'm not brave enough."
The teacher yells back, "I don't care. You have to face it."
And something goes off in me. I find myself charging up for the responsibility placed in front of me. The thought of becoming a leader, thrills me.
I say to myself, in my head, "This is what Shonda Rhimes in her book, 'Year of Yes', has gone through. So, why don't I say yes to the thing that scares me either!
"Okay! I'll do it." I say and the room erupted in applaud. And I stand there, being overwhelmed by the acknowledgement.
It felt surreal. I said what I really thought about leadership since childhood. Dreams have a way of rekindling our inner fear and desires. I kid you not.
But I felt such sense of awesomeness when I went head on with it in my dream. Made me to love and respect myself more. If I'm to face similar situation in the future, I would go for it. Since I've already experienced the thrill of doing something I'm afraid of. I would dig the opportunity if I'm given one.