April 27, 2021


Dear Diary, today was my birthday. I'm 27 now. It wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, but also not that great. A couple of relatives and my best friend from school sent their regards, which was nice. Knight did not think of my birthday apperently, which was a bummer. Otherwise it wasn't a very special day. I held my tutorium and it went pretty well. At one point I had some trouble explaining something, which I hope wasn't too bad. I don't think that I'm a natural at this.

Of course I was also sad, because of the whole girlfriend debacle. I didn't have to think too muxh about it. Maybe at this point I'm starting to accept that I'm never going to have that young love that I always wanted. However it's more likel, that today just wasn't one of my bad days. I'm sure the agony will come back, it always does. I still thought of the subject a lot today, especially of P my big love from school. She probably had multiple relationships by now. She made her experiences and became a more confident person. Not like that shy girl she used to be. I also changed, but I'm mainly questioning if I am even capable of loving that way again. I didn't gain any confidence. There were just no opportunities for it, except her of course.

I also got a graphics tablet for pretty cheap from ebay. It's an almost new Huion Inspiroy 950. I'm not that good of an artist, but I always wanted to try digital art. Maybe I won't end up using it much, but I think it's worth it.

I'm kinda tired so I will stop now, good night everyone!