Dear Diary,
Kemper so far has not turned abusive towards me. I don't know why I am expecting it but it usually happens, especially after the relationship becomes sexual. He isn't even verbally abusive. I don't know how to react to any of this.
I do enjoy sleeping at night with him. It is nice waking up and being in his arms. He sleeps so peacefully too. I wake up so many times in the middle of the night.
Last night I had a dream that I was home. My parents were still married and Ryan was home going to community college. Everything was all normal and I was even going to regular school with my old friends. Maybe that is what my life would have been like. It ended with my dad and I eating breakfast together. Just the two of us at a restaurant. For some reason in the dream, I wanted to say sorry about everything. I couldn't get the words out though. That was only the bad part about the dream.
I miss my dad. It was so different the last time I seen him. We didn't talk much at all. He also seemed so different and just very tired in general. It was kind of sad. I hope he finds happiness again at some point.